Tag Archives: Fear

Half Moon

All I had to do was open my heart. Every time I try this I wobble, loose my balance and most times just fall over and laugh that this pose seems to throw me off. Today though, I figured it out. All I had to do was open my heart. When you are ready, you are ready and TODAY I was ready. As I lifted my right fingers tips to the sky, breathed deeply with one foot planted on the ground, strength through my left leg, I turned my chest to the sky and opened my heart!

What a day, my favorite moment of the day was just that little moment. When you connect your mind with your body it is deeper than just a twist to the left or right and turning your head towards the ceiling. I connected with myself. My mind wasn’t on yesterday or tomorrow but it was right there in the room on my mat that I connected with a higher power that lifted me up and helped me move past my fears, not my fears of falling over but the fear to open my heart!


One of my new favorite experiences

Most of all I value experiences, adventures, living…. not so much things.  And tonight I have a new favorite experience to add to my list.  “The Moth”.  Such a breath of fresh air.  What The Moth is, is a story slam.  Much like the famous poetry slam but people put their names in a bucket and if chosen they get up on stage in front of an audience and tell their story.  There is a theme, and tonight’s theme was “On the Road”.  There are 3 tables that rate each speaker and there is a winner at the end.  Each story is limited to 5 minutes. You would think 5 minutes is long, but it goes by fast.

Now I first heard a live recording of the NYC story slam on NPR and thought it was the coolest idea, I actually pulled my car over and finished listening to the whole program.  I was over the top when I heard we had it here in the D.  2 months ago my girlfriend and I went down to Cliff Bells where they host the slam at 7:30, when the show was suppose to start.  We had NO IDEA how popular it was since it had just started 3 months prior.  We waited in February for an hour and the line didn’t even move and we never got in.  Today we got there an hour and 15 minutes prior to the start time and were lucky to find chairs.  We discovered from talking to people with all the best tables that it is a full house at 4 pm!!!  Seriously people, you are lucky I’m sharing this little gem of an experience with you it was a packed house as it was.  But I want to help people move OUT of their comfort zones and try new things.  Sometimes that takes hearing a recommendation from others.  The Moth is only in 4 cities and Detroit is one of them!  I feel so lucky.

The best part of tonight was the fact that one of my friends put her name in the bucket.  What a brave soul.  Public speaking is not easy, especially while trying to be funny and entertaining at the same time.  9 stories were read, everyone was so open talking about crapping their pants (multiple people had this theme), being pimped for gay sex in Chile until finally escaping while their capturer passed out, and being stranded by the greyhound bus company for 3 days in the middle of a snowstorm in Nebraska.  My friend too had a great bus story.  She was almost off the hook until they called number 10!  Now she had to face her fear to speak in front of a group, and this is a fear among many.  Out of about 25 people 10 were chosen and she got to tell her story of when she was 16 and left her family on their vacation and took the greyhound back to the city 12 hours and all the crazy people she met.  I was so proud of her, it take a lot of courage to get up and speak like that, and I was just happy to say that I was there….in the present moment listening, enjoying my new experience and not thinking about yesterday or tomorrow.  We will be going back to The Moth every month that we can, it was above all pure entertainment with an enlightening twist of getting to know a few people around you!

I hope you enjoyed my story.

Fear Nothing

Getting suited up to jump 14,000 feet out of a plane

I had my interview for Live Training a couple of months ago.  I think they conduct interviews to just make sure you are not suicidal or going to be a liability to the group.  Either way, it felt good that I was accepted!  One of the things that Steve (One of the owners of Yoga Shelter) and I talked about was conquering your fears.  He said we would be focusing on the topic of fear quite a bit during our retreat.  Hmm..Fear?  “Fear is something I really don’t know anything about” I told him.  Nothing really scares me, heights…no, spiders..no, love…no, being alone in life….nope not that either!  So emotionally and mentally I feel pretty darn strong.  Then a couple of nights ago, I woke up from a light sleep.  I’m not sure if I was just dreaming but it just popped into my head.  My FEAR!  How could this be?  I told myself to just go back to bed and not think about it again and it will just go away.  I guess we all fear something, but I felt my fears were nothing major.  I shouldn’t need to go on a retreat to address it.

So here it was, my subconscious had awakened me.  It was like a confession to myself in my head, “I fear that I will miss out on something really important in life”.  What does that mean?  As I tossed and turned for the rest of the night, was I thinking about kids?  What if I decided not to have any kids, will I look back one day and have regrets?  What if I don’t see enough of the world that I once wanted to in life, will I regret it?  Will I regret if I never open my own business one day, or write a book…dreams I’ve had since I was young?    My heart began to race as I was thinking about these things. My chest gets tight now as the anxiety sets in while I write this down.  I feel like I’m up against the clock and its almost April 2010….2010, do you hear me????  How is it that 1/4 of the year has already passed?  Time feels like it’s escaping me.  Do you remember the show Out of this World, I use to want to have her super powers, where you could just put your fingers together and stop time.  That way I would never miss anything.  The funny thing is I love to sleep, you would think if I didn’t want to miss anything I wouldn’t sleep as much.  Oh well dreaming is sweet too 🙂

As I continue my journey, I am really looking forward to learn how to live in the present and not focus on the future so much and what I may be missing out on.  We all need to appreciate the moment while it is happening and the people who we are spending it with, I think this will bring more peace.

Having spent the better part of my life trying either to relive the past or experience the future before it arrives, I have come to believe that in between these two extremes is peace.  ~Author Unknown