Category Archives: Self-Discovery

Third Eye

I’ve always know what it is but not known exactly how to use it and haven’t really seen it. I still have a long ways to go to learn how to use it but I finally saw it and began to use it.  Does anyone know what this is???.

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It is my 3rd Eye and really my Invincible Summer. It is this playground located between my 2 eyes that is a bright glowing light and a place I can go to lead me in the right direction. That direction is to a higher level and elevation upward and inward and that brings me closer to my spiritual leader God. The other day when I was in Yoga class I just saw it and felt it pull me up and forward and inward. I always feel so close to myself in Yoga and God is within us.

I took these passages out from my teachings “The Fall of the Human Intellect” written by Guru A. Parthasarathy.

Old Testament: The voice of God declares, ” I am that I am”.

New Testament: Jesus Christ affirms, “The kingdom of God is within you.”

Quran: Prophet Mohammed asserts, “The greatest jihad is that for the conquest of self.”

Bhagavad-Gita: Krishna pronounces, “I am the Self in all beings.”

Upanishads: The Rishis (Enlightened Sages) avow, “Self is God”.

So through finding my 3rd eye it has given me a door into my real self that is a bright light shinning and it is where I can begin to find peace and bliss because peace and bliss are being closer to God.

Namaste

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Half Moon

All I had to do was open my heart. Every time I try this I wobble, loose my balance and most times just fall over and laugh that this pose seems to throw me off. Today though, I figured it out. All I had to do was open my heart. When you are ready, you are ready and TODAY I was ready. As I lifted my right fingers tips to the sky, breathed deeply with one foot planted on the ground, strength through my left leg, I turned my chest to the sky and opened my heart!

What a day, my favorite moment of the day was just that little moment. When you connect your mind with your body it is deeper than just a twist to the left or right and turning your head towards the ceiling. I connected with myself. My mind wasn’t on yesterday or tomorrow but it was right there in the room on my mat that I connected with a higher power that lifted me up and helped me move past my fears, not my fears of falling over but the fear to open my heart!

Namaste

Night Owl to Early Riser in 30 days….

The formula has worked!  No meat, no caffeine, no alcohol, studying The Fall of the Human Intellect every morning, and no hanky panky, wait did I just say no Hanky Panky? Yes that is part of the formula….and I’m up at 6:00 am on a Saturday morning with only 2.5 hours of sleep and feel fully alert and ready for the world! All of this is part of the lifestyle changing formula. I really had to give myself a month or so to do it because in the beginning I went through the headaches of no coffee, and withdrawals of my favorite foods but once I began to see the benefits I was able to start reasoning with my intellect vs. emotions and attachments like I need this or I need that to survive!

Just a couple of weeks ago I put on my facebook status “How do you change your habits and become a morning person, even though you’ve been a night owl your whole life?”. I got answers like “have kids, drinking before bed so you have to get up early and go pee, get an early morning JOB”. These are all answers that FORCE yourself to get out of bed in the morning but how about doing it by choice?  Good answers but the formula above helped me change my mind set and make physical changes in my body that have allowed me to become a morning person.

And I’m fucking shocked by this one simple change I’ve seen in myself. I never thought it was possible that is why I had to use the F word…because I’m just that surprised by my behavioral changes. A month ago I would have talked myself into going back to bed because the mere thought of only getting 2.5 hours of sleep must indicate that I need more sleep. I mean its pure logic right? Actually it is not, the pure logic is if you are not tired wake up and get your ass out of bed!

This is one of the many changes I have seen over the past month, but one that I have been trying on my own to accomplish for the past 1o years.  I do not think, “now that I have accomplished it I own it and can do it every day”.  It will take daily work to keep up this practice and change.  On a side note now that my 30 days are almost up I will be continuing many of the sacrifices I have made with slight modifications that fit my true self.

Listen to your intellect, reason out what really is the logic and make that change you want to see but be consistent daily and you too can make it happen!

Namaste

Mineral Water Martini

I’m going through a Yoga form of lent. Give up the things that you desire. Isn’t this the act we do before Easter? Give something up that we enjoy? I hardly ever do lent, but I dig this exercise. Give up something that you desire that way when you miss it, you can meditate on it and give thanks that you are becoming free of attachment to your desires and try to understand why you were attached in the first place.

Giving up alcohol for the next 30 days is among many of the things I’ve given up for the next 30 days as part of my new lifestyle experience.  Don’t worry…it makes sense to me.

Anyway I had a few friends over for dinner last Friday and they were game for the Vegan Lasagna but I really felt I had to explain myself on the whole no drinking thing.  The conversation went something like this.

Kendra: Let me pour you a glass of wine

Friends: Thanks, this is divine, aren’t you going to have a glass?

Kendra: Oh yes, don’t worry I WILL be having a glass I’m just starting off slow, I like drinking mineral water out of a martini glass, it taste better that way.

Friends:  Oh OK

In the beginning, I really felt the need to want to include myself in the wine drinking but as the night progressed my Mineral Water Martini planted itself as a REAL adult beverage and I never felt the need to switch over to wine.  Whew…I made it though my first trial.  I realized I do have attachments to drinking, its a social thing, a way to be included and part of the party.  But in reality its not really the alcohol, just a pretty glass.

Namaste

Affirmations

7.) I want everybody to respect me.

8.) I want to be able to reason out good decisions.

9.) I want to have fun.

10.) I want to be happy with myself.

11.) I want to enjoy everyday.

12.) I want to do only the things that make me proud.

13.) I want to accept the truth.

14.) I want to find good in everybody.

15.) I always want to be myself.

1.) I never want to be jealous.

2.) I never want to put anybody down.

3.) I never want to be scared of what tomorrow may bring.

4.) I never want to judge people.

5.) I never want to indulge.

6.) I never want to disrespect myself.

7.) I never want to act out of character.

8.) I never want to quit what I know I can accomplish.

9.) I never want to be mean.

10.) I never want to wish to be something that I am not.

11.) I never want to lie to myself.

12.) I never want to blame others for my mistakes.

I took a class in high school, I can’t remember what it was called but it was along the lines of life skills.  We talked about healthy relationships, being a healthy person mentally and honestly I can’t remember what else.  It was either 11th or 12th grade.  What I do remember is that it was first period and I always walked out of class feeling alive and happy!  One of the exercises we did was to write down affirmations.  Above is about what I wrote.  I have my original notes from class and I still look at them regularly.  Sometimes I just read them one by one until one sticks out to me at that moment and I try to meditate on the words throughout the day.  It reminds me of what kind of person I want to be.  From time to time I loose my way and I look at this and think, “how did I know myself better at 17 then I do today?”  Was I more honest with myself?  Less tainted with the temptations of society?  Hadn’t felt as much pain and worry in life?

I think this is a good way to start or end your day because there is something powerful in simple words, written down, and said out loud.

Namaste.

Fear Nothing

Getting suited up to jump 14,000 feet out of a plane

I had my interview for Live Training a couple of months ago.  I think they conduct interviews to just make sure you are not suicidal or going to be a liability to the group.  Either way, it felt good that I was accepted!  One of the things that Steve (One of the owners of Yoga Shelter) and I talked about was conquering your fears.  He said we would be focusing on the topic of fear quite a bit during our retreat.  Hmm..Fear?  “Fear is something I really don’t know anything about” I told him.  Nothing really scares me, heights…no, spiders..no, love…no, being alone in life….nope not that either!  So emotionally and mentally I feel pretty darn strong.  Then a couple of nights ago, I woke up from a light sleep.  I’m not sure if I was just dreaming but it just popped into my head.  My FEAR!  How could this be?  I told myself to just go back to bed and not think about it again and it will just go away.  I guess we all fear something, but I felt my fears were nothing major.  I shouldn’t need to go on a retreat to address it.

So here it was, my subconscious had awakened me.  It was like a confession to myself in my head, “I fear that I will miss out on something really important in life”.  What does that mean?  As I tossed and turned for the rest of the night, was I thinking about kids?  What if I decided not to have any kids, will I look back one day and have regrets?  What if I don’t see enough of the world that I once wanted to in life, will I regret it?  Will I regret if I never open my own business one day, or write a book…dreams I’ve had since I was young?    My heart began to race as I was thinking about these things. My chest gets tight now as the anxiety sets in while I write this down.  I feel like I’m up against the clock and its almost April 2010….2010, do you hear me????  How is it that 1/4 of the year has already passed?  Time feels like it’s escaping me.  Do you remember the show Out of this World, I use to want to have her super powers, where you could just put your fingers together and stop time.  That way I would never miss anything.  The funny thing is I love to sleep, you would think if I didn’t want to miss anything I wouldn’t sleep as much.  Oh well dreaming is sweet too 🙂

As I continue my journey, I am really looking forward to learn how to live in the present and not focus on the future so much and what I may be missing out on.  We all need to appreciate the moment while it is happening and the people who we are spending it with, I think this will bring more peace.

Having spent the better part of my life trying either to relive the past or experience the future before it arrives, I have come to believe that in between these two extremes is peace.  ~Author Unknown

Paz

I Still Believe in Love!

It is exactly one month until my Life Training with the Yoga Shelter.  At first I did not know what to think, I mean..Life Training?  Who needs training for life right?  I’m centered, balanced and happy and a optimist most of the time but after my 2 week transformation training back in November I found out I didn’t know me as well as I thought I did.

For most of you who probably know me, you are thinking that I am a self realized person so I guess that says that many of us need Life Training.  During my Transformation training, it was just one week after my boyfriend and I broke up after our loving 2 year relationship.  I had signed up prior to knowing that anything was even wrong in my relationship so needless to say, a lot of shit came to the surface.  Not only did I cry, in the dark while we sang “Om Shanti” I also spoke up and shared what I had discovered deep within me.  The sadness that I was burying to keep my relationship alive, my dreams that I had forgotten about, changing the world, being somebody one day,  and making a difference.  I unleashed my fears and discovered the invincible summer that lived inside me, it always has there and it had been hidden in the clouds and again it is ready to shine!

My Life Training is one month away and I want to share my journey until i get there and the transformation I will take afterwards.

Namaste.

KH